I'm a big fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and have had many fantasies concerning the extraordinarily cute and vampire-killing vixen, Sarah Michelle Gellar. Maybe part of the reason why I liked the series so much is because right down the road from SunnyDale and the Hellmouth where the series takes place, I've been going to school at New Moon university as Bobby Burrito, a gay werewolf who works part-time selling burritos door-to-door for a fast food Mexican joint called The Howling Jalapeno. "Bobby Burrito" is sort of my gay alter-ego, so please don't tell anybody that I'm into guys' hairy armpits so much. Hahahahahaa!

No, actually, I don't really give a damn if people know that I like to swing both ways. I like a little hairy pussy for breakfast, a man's hairy armpit in my face for lunch and then when the moon comes out and the werewolves start howling, when Buffy gets out her wooden stake and goes on patrol, that's when I scour the campus looking for young male students' tight hairy asses to fuck. They call me the "Campus Ass Wrecker" at New Moon University, among other things. I'm in my thirties and alot older than alot of the hot guys attending classes but that just means I've got more experience laying down the fucking wood. And I'm not talking about one of Buffy's vampire stakes, either-- I'm talking about my big 6 and a half inch cock! It's always harder than a grad student's quantum physics final.

The door-to-door burrito selling is interesting. My boss, Burnie, totally makes me "cold call," knocking on total unsuspecting strangers' doors, trying to sell them a burrito right on the spot. It makes me feel like a Mormon or a Jehovah's Witness, or something, and to tell you the truth selling burritos is alot like how those church fellas try to sell you their beliefs in God. I find myself sitting with these confused married couples out in their yard, holding a burrito in my hand the way a Mormon or Jehovah Witness would hold out their Bibles, unfolding the tortilla shell and pointing out the different, delicious ingredients like they were Bible verses, telling them that the rich cheese will bring them salvation and that the beans will make them toot their horn on the road to glory the way all them angels start tooting their horns during the end of the world in the Book of Revelation. So yeah, it's called Bobby Burrito's Gay Werewolf Armpits On Campus and I'd be happy if you checked it out sometime.